Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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