Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
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