Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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