I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
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I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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