Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
