Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Randomize
