I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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