I have demons in me.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
bring money and cleavage
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
