my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
