At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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