Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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