Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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