white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
