I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
