i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
