people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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