apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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