Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
