i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
