xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
