Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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