The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
