Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
