I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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