is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
you inspire me to be a worse person
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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