they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize