I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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