Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
