dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I've blown a few things in my day
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
