Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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