This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
