Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I FOUND THE LEGS
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
