dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
