Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
They took my balls.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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