dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i wish my penis had a tongue
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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