Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
