he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
