I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
