omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
