i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
