if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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