I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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