Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize