i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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