I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
