dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
