i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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