Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
