So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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