the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
