Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You took a bar mat shot.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
