I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
