Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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