Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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