We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
