I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
