Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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