My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
