Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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