Don't you send me to vm
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize