covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize