he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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