He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
