he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
