a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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