doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
