Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
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