I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
